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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

♥ Pushing Me Aside

Have you ever just woken up one morning and thought "What's the point in living?" There's nothing here, really. Sure, I'm a Christian and I believe in God, but what about God here on Earth is so great? I'd rather be in Heaven right now than still living.

As depressing as that sounds, I am just so fed up with having to pretend to happy, to care, to like myself when I'd rather just never ever ever have to do any of those things. I hate holding back and not saying what I want to say. Everyone needs to hear the truth, but then they get all offended because the truth is all painful and junk.

I just got my heart ripped out recently, y'know? And I'm absolutely fine. There's nothing anyone could say to make me depressed on that part. I guess I never really even liked him, but I liked that he was honest with me. Anyhow, this entry is so depressing, so maybe I'll spice it up a bit.

Looooooooong pause. Okay, so I don't have anything exceedingly happy to report right now. Dang my life is depressing, lol. Oh, my cat learned how to open my door so now he opens it and comes in there and sleeps in my room. I wouldn't mind so much if he closed the door, but he doesn't so it kinda pisses me off.

Later days.

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please take this feelings for her inside?
2:38 PM
0 commented

♥ i ;


    cara. dessy. that girl. eighteen. single. christian. loves God. music. anberlin. drums. people. drama. happiness. sadness. depression. writer. loves animals. aspiring thespian. aspiring editor. aspiring writer. reading. school. english. history. science. blind. loves family. loves friends. hopes to be a good wife someday. hopes to be a good mom someday. loves kids. wants kids. being random. being me. hot chocolate. in like with someone. love my cat. chill. love the puppies in my backyard. drama ministry ♥. the end. le fini. fin.
    follow me?

♥ don't want ;


    i walked the streets with you by my side
    so hard to say good-bye tonight.
    let's continue with Anberlin lyrics; Amsterdam.
    are there no shadows where you are / i can see everything as day / problems that you try to hide away / pushing me aside / (you're pushing me aside) // could the winter calm come twice / 'cause your heart seems so cold tonight / thirst for substance somehow isn't right / it's killing me inside / (it's killing you inside) / you're killing me inside // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / if something isn't right / if something isn't right // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends // are you so naive to right and wrong / how could you watch innocence forgone / does what we've done ever really belong / it wasted me away / i feel so wasted away // God if you can hear me out all right / please take these feelings for her inside / my chest hurts when I breathe tonight / it's wasting me away / (you're wasting me away) / they're wasting me away // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / something isn't right / something isn't right // this is our last / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / this our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / (this is our last) / this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends

♥ you are;


    this layout is about being in love, being afraid, being insane. this header started out on my second livejournal, made it's way to my third livejournal and then eventually made it's way to here. every layout i do has something to do with song lyrics. the first time I used this header it was coupled with the song 2am by Alexz Johnson the second time it was coupled with the song Jasey Rae (Acoustic) by All Time Low and the third time I used this header i coupled it with the song Amsterdam by Anberlin all of these are great songs.

    this blog is about wasting time, life, God, essence, Amsterdam, dissection, mocking, everything. whatever i decide i'll put here at any given moment. anything. so far i've written in excess about my friends, God, drama, and this guy i like or don't like. in short, i'm confused and now i'm sure the rest of you are too.

♥ This is our last;;

♥ Good-night;