<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/8946082654756245821?origin\x3dhttp://quintessential-amsterdam.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

♥ Problems That You Try To Hide Away

Now for a for real and for serious post about how I feel about Jerod, Will, and a few other people in my life. I recently learned that Will spread rumors about me being a whore and being pregnant and said all sorts of nasty things about me behind my back, Jerod has been doing the same thing, and other people, yeah. We'll get to that.

First, my brother. My little brother is usually an amazing kid. I love him, don't get me wrong, but the fact that him getting a sucker every day is worth more than my honor makes me sick. It also doesn't make me feel too good that he calls me fat and lazy all the time. I know I'm fat, but I'm not lazy and it just really hurts me that he thinks of me like that. Why'd I mention him? He has something to do with the two other people I'm mentioning by name.

Second, Jerod. In high school, I pretended to have a crush on him because I got a kick out of toying with him. He never liked me back because he dates ugly girls, but yeah. He's pretty ugly himself. Wow, I'm so incredibly!Super!Mean. He told my brother that I was a stalker and that I had a romantic interest in him. Um, ew. Can you say Billy Goat (that's my brother's nickname for him). Anyways, my brother had Anatomy with him this semester and he's been toying with him almost like I did. But what really gets my goat (pun intended!) is that he told my brother that he would've never "persued me as a romantic interest" yet he persued little Ms. Hunchback of Notre Dame (as my brother calls her, I'm sure she's somewhat more attractice then he gives her credit for). Anyhow, my brother and Billy got to talking again about me and Billy started asking what I was up to and my brother is all "She's going into college soon, lost a lot of weight, dyed her hair, got like boooooooner hot over the summer. Dude, I'd date her--if she wasn't already dating someone else--and I'm her brother." So then Billy is all like "reeeallly?" with this intense interest. He screwed up. Wow, my brother is a douche-bag.

Now to Will. We were friends in high school, I had a minor crush on him back during my Freshman year. Which was guh-ross! He's not even cute! I can't believe Emily dated him. No wonder she hated me! Will talks trash about me all the time. He spread the rumor that I was pregnant, that I was a whore, that I was living on the street, and that I was a lesbian. You'd think he had more class than that. I wish I had never had friends in high school, honestly. It would've saved me a ton of heartbreak and all sorts of crap. Anyhow, my brother got this kid good. Will works at Starbucks, right? So my brother goes over there with one of his friends, orders a tall mocha frappe and without paying for it, throws it in Will's face. It was awesome. Then he high-tailed it out of there. Poor boy was bookin' it. He still can't go back to that Starbucks, which I find incredibly hilarious.

Other people. One of my close friends has been getting on my nerves lately and I don't know how to tell her that. She like, asks me to tag along on everything I do with other people. I'm supposed to go out on Single's Awareness Day with one of my other friends to see He's Just Not That Into You and I told her I would be busy and she started asking me all sorts of questions. So I had to tell her, like, everything. Which totally sucks, it does. Now she's tagging along when I really don't want her to. And I know this makes me sound like a total witch, but we've been hanging around each other a lot lately and I really just need a break! I'm so tired of seeing her all the time and I feel really bad, but come on! Wouldn't you like get tired of seeing someone all the time? Ever?

Another person. He thinks I'm a waste of time. I don't know what to say to that. I find him incredibly boring and lack-luster. I think that might be redundant. Oh well, I'm just kinda pissed off that he's treating me like an utter waste of his precious time. He'd probably like it if I treated him that way, but I'm just getting so tired of all this crap in my life. I think he put it best when he sent me this quote: "Foes...better than friends; friends turn back in the end. 'Least you know foes never had your back to begin" -Jairus. Why couldn't I have just never trained myself not to be an introvert so I wouldn't get hurt when people didn't care about me? Or...did care about me. Uh, yeah. I don't make any sense.

Anyhow, there really isn't much else to say. I need to get a life, less friends and more lonely. Why do I even bother trying to keep up with people when all I am is a waste of time? Have you ever really thought about that? You're wasting people's time by talking to them and even existing.

I bet you feel like a total d-bag now. Go cut yourself emo kid. Vulgarity FTW.

Labels: , , ,

please take this feelings for her inside?
1:40 AM
0 commented

♥ i ;


    cara. dessy. that girl. eighteen. single. christian. loves God. music. anberlin. drums. people. drama. happiness. sadness. depression. writer. loves animals. aspiring thespian. aspiring editor. aspiring writer. reading. school. english. history. science. blind. loves family. loves friends. hopes to be a good wife someday. hopes to be a good mom someday. loves kids. wants kids. being random. being me. hot chocolate. in like with someone. love my cat. chill. love the puppies in my backyard. drama ministry ♥. the end. le fini. fin.
    follow me?

♥ don't want ;


    i walked the streets with you by my side
    so hard to say good-bye tonight.
    let's continue with Anberlin lyrics; Amsterdam.
    are there no shadows where you are / i can see everything as day / problems that you try to hide away / pushing me aside / (you're pushing me aside) // could the winter calm come twice / 'cause your heart seems so cold tonight / thirst for substance somehow isn't right / it's killing me inside / (it's killing you inside) / you're killing me inside // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / if something isn't right / if something isn't right // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends // are you so naive to right and wrong / how could you watch innocence forgone / does what we've done ever really belong / it wasted me away / i feel so wasted away // God if you can hear me out all right / please take these feelings for her inside / my chest hurts when I breathe tonight / it's wasting me away / (you're wasting me away) / they're wasting me away // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / something isn't right / something isn't right // this is our last / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / this our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / (this is our last) / this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends

♥ you are;


    this layout is about being in love, being afraid, being insane. this header started out on my second livejournal, made it's way to my third livejournal and then eventually made it's way to here. every layout i do has something to do with song lyrics. the first time I used this header it was coupled with the song 2am by Alexz Johnson the second time it was coupled with the song Jasey Rae (Acoustic) by All Time Low and the third time I used this header i coupled it with the song Amsterdam by Anberlin all of these are great songs.

    this blog is about wasting time, life, God, essence, Amsterdam, dissection, mocking, everything. whatever i decide i'll put here at any given moment. anything. so far i've written in excess about my friends, God, drama, and this guy i like or don't like. in short, i'm confused and now i'm sure the rest of you are too.

♥ Good-night;