<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar/8946082654756245821?origin\x3dhttp://quintessential-amsterdam.blogspot.com', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

Thursday, February 5, 2009

♥ 'Cause Your Heart Seems So Cold Tonight

I use people. I don't like admitting it, but I use people. The friends I have right now are for my convenience. I use people, I hurt people, I get rid of people. I don't mean to be like that, in fact, I remember when my mom was talking to my sister Jennifer about being that way back when I was around the age of 6 or maybe 7.

My thoughts on that conversation went like this: "That's so cruel, but don't I do the same thing with my friends?" A seven year old. Seven and I was using people.

I've been back-stabbed a lot in my life, which is no excuse, but it also makes me incapable of trust. I can trust some to most people easilly, which sounds kind of contradictory, but I'm getting to that point. After I trust you, tell you some secrets...there's a time where I get bored with you. Where I don't want you in my life anymore. So I throw you away.

The reason? There's a lot of those. You might've gotten too close, you might have said something to offend me, or you might've just run out of whatever I was using you for. Do I keep friends just to pin my emotions on them? I might do that, y'know. I'm so incredibly stupid.

Just in the past few days I've learned that one of my friends who wasn't really my friend was spreading rumors about me. So you know what I did? Dropped all my current friends and decided I was going to be hanging out with different people.

It's like, they don't mean anything to me. My friends mean nothing to me. I make myself sick when it comes to relationships. Why do I use people like this? Why do I do this to myself.

Douche-bag of the year. The End.

Labels: , , , , , , ,

please take this feelings for her inside?
2:53 PM
0 commented

♥ i ;


    cara. dessy. that girl. eighteen. single. christian. loves God. music. anberlin. drums. people. drama. happiness. sadness. depression. writer. loves animals. aspiring thespian. aspiring editor. aspiring writer. reading. school. english. history. science. blind. loves family. loves friends. hopes to be a good wife someday. hopes to be a good mom someday. loves kids. wants kids. being random. being me. hot chocolate. in like with someone. love my cat. chill. love the puppies in my backyard. drama ministry ♥. the end. le fini. fin.
    follow me?

♥ don't want ;


    i walked the streets with you by my side
    so hard to say good-bye tonight.
    let's continue with Anberlin lyrics; Amsterdam.
    are there no shadows where you are / i can see everything as day / problems that you try to hide away / pushing me aside / (you're pushing me aside) // could the winter calm come twice / 'cause your heart seems so cold tonight / thirst for substance somehow isn't right / it's killing me inside / (it's killing you inside) / you're killing me inside // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / if something isn't right / if something isn't right // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends // are you so naive to right and wrong / how could you watch innocence forgone / does what we've done ever really belong / it wasted me away / i feel so wasted away // God if you can hear me out all right / please take these feelings for her inside / my chest hurts when I breathe tonight / it's wasting me away / (you're wasting me away) / they're wasting me away // i don't wanna be where you are / i don't wanna be here even now / i don't wanna be by your side / something isn't right / something isn't right // this is our last / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / this our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends / (this is my last) // this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / words have no meaning / when I've seen where you've been / (this is our last) / this is our last goodnight / say what you will / say all that you can / this is our last goodbye / this is where love ends

♥ you are;


    this layout is about being in love, being afraid, being insane. this header started out on my second livejournal, made it's way to my third livejournal and then eventually made it's way to here. every layout i do has something to do with song lyrics. the first time I used this header it was coupled with the song 2am by Alexz Johnson the second time it was coupled with the song Jasey Rae (Acoustic) by All Time Low and the third time I used this header i coupled it with the song Amsterdam by Anberlin all of these are great songs.

    this blog is about wasting time, life, God, essence, Amsterdam, dissection, mocking, everything. whatever i decide i'll put here at any given moment. anything. so far i've written in excess about my friends, God, drama, and this guy i like or don't like. in short, i'm confused and now i'm sure the rest of you are too.

♥ This is our last;;

♥ Good-night;